Reflections from the Search Committee Retreat

A couple of Sunday’s ago at Church, I was struck by the 1st reading from Jeremiah:

“Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a child.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a child’; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you, Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you.”

While I was struck by it, I did not know just how much I would be clinging to this passage less than two weeks later.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to attend the new Bishop search and transition committee retreat as a member of the search committee. It was a three day process, filled with conversation, prayer, laughter, and an abundance of learning. The transition committee was only present on Thursday, and the rest of the weekend was spent with the seventeen of us on the search committee. Seventeen people, all coming together from different areas around the diocese, sharing a common faith. Meeting so many new faces and hearing about the different churches around the diocese was a completely new experience for me and opened my eyes to how truly important this process is.

When Father Luke first suggested that I apply for the search committee, the idea was daunting to me. My whole life, church has always been something I would go to for a specific reason. Whether it was because I was promised breakfast afterwards (which, is still the case to this day, and those breakfast dates with my dad are very special to me), or, when I was younger and I had the responsibility of attending children’s choir after the 10:00 a.m. service every week.

As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve slowly begun to understand that my faith is something I want to explore on my own terms. The experience of being on this search committee is my first big step towards that exploration. Being nineteen and having never known anything about what happens behind the scenes of the diocese, I felt like I was experiencing the truest form of imposter syndrome when surrounded by everyone else in these committees. I have attended St. Luke’s since I was four years old and have done everything I could to be involved with the congregation, but how does that qualify me to work alongside these other amazing, well-educated adults in choosing the new bishop for our diocese?

While these fears were ever-present in my mind, my worries were eased by the acceptance and support from the people around me. Although I was the youngest there, I was taken seriously every time I shared a thought. My knowledge of writing from my working English degree was celebrated and I was reassured constantly that everyone was so glad I was part of this process. Their confidence in me was contagious, and slowly, I began to realize how important my place is in this committee. While finding the new bishop will be a long, rigorous task, I know that the process will be more than worth it. The sole fact that I have the opportunity to learn from everyone in this committee is invaluable. On top of that, I look forward to expanding my faith and, in turn, learning more about myself.

Abby Monaghan